I NEED TO STOP
By: MIMAY

with what i am feeling now..
i need to stop..
i am draining my entire emotions with this..
i am sadden with every thought that pops out..

i cannot stand the misery anymore..
i cannot feel the supposedly feeling in the right time and the right place..
i am fighting a losing battle..
i am a knight without a sword and a princess without a kingdom..

depress.

supress.

whatever the situation is i just need to stop..
they say that falling inlove is unhealthy..
heck it is.
i don’t get sleepless nights though..
but there will come a time when waking up to mother sunshine i just hated all..

all the smiles that faces me and all the laughter i hear..
can i say fucked up?!
wel. not really.
 its just one of those days..
 if my bed has four corners then maybe i woke up on the fifth side of the bed..
bugger.

i need to stop..
i need to stop adoring..
i need to stop falling..
i need to stop believing in love..
i need to stop feeling..
i need to stop dreaming..
i just need to stop this.
i am someone who just need to stop all this for i may never feel happiness if i wont stop..

She’s my annoyance

My “ignorance is a bliss”

The half of what I feel

The full stops in my sentence

One who breaks the humdrum of my life

One who smacks reality in my fantasy

Fades my color black

Stains my whites

She’s my added fear

My multiplied sorrow

My negative tears

My divided indecision

My bed of loneliness

My underground happiness

I want to tell her

It’s not right as it seems

I’ll just be quiet and wallow

Make believe this is shallow


By: MIMAY

By: - G




Lesbian death bed is a term coined by Pepper Schwartz. This is a ‘phenomenon’ when a lesbian couple have less sex than they use to after being together for so long. This term is a misnomer for the fact that this scenario isn’t just experienced by lesbian couples but also by heterosexual couples and gay men as well.

Why do people experience death bed?

• Sex is not important. Some people view sex as a treat, or a desert in a relationship. Some couple think of  sex as something not as important as other factors like communication, trust, friendship.
• Stress. With problems back and forth, couples tend to forget about sex. Sex becomes a task that needs to be performed to get filled.
• Health problems. because of physical problems, sex drives tends to lower than they used to.
• Lost passion. this happens because of the fact of being together for so long, they loss their affection and passion for the other person.
• other factors

When Lesbian death bed happens, what do you do?
There are a lot of ways to get the passion back, to keep the light burning. BE adventurous and experiment. Sex is not taboo anymore. People have sex almost everyday, married or not and in different places. Sex is something that is shared by two people who has feelings for each other, who is intimate with one another – the term should be Making Love. Or it can be just a casual thing between friends, hook ups, FUBU (Fuck Buddies), experiments. So how do you keep the fire burning after being together for so long? Here’s a list of useful fact to practice:

1. Minimize excuses – try to lessen excuses just to avoid having sex.
2. Watch porn – as funny as other may see this, watching pornography actually helps. When you watch porn, you tend to visualize yourself in that scenario. You will get aroused. Watching porn isn’t something that you should be shy about.
3. Use sex toys. There is a wide selection for sexual enhancers to help you with maximizing pleasure with your partner. Vibrators, Penile toys, Glass sex toys, Nipple toys, Anal toys, or General penetrative toys. With a wide selection, you can choose whatever that is to your liking. To give you a a little something to read, click on SEX TOYS.
4. Fantasize. Scenarios that make you kinky, a certain set up which can make you horny or something that just gives you a spark. It maybe a doctor-nurse thing, having sex on top of a table, to have sex on your parents bed/room, sex on a plane, master-servant. Whatever your sexual fantasies are, share it with your partner, and just play. Enjoy the moment and savor the pleasure.
5. Have a sex date. This is different from making a schedule, but think of it more like a date. this is the time when you think of nothing else but sex. A night that you can spend with the other partner and both enjoy. A night that you will look forward to.
6. Read. there is a lot of books that focuses on erotic topics. Like watching porn, don’t be shy about reading erotica. This way, you will learn different thing and in return will make you want to try it.
7. keep the communication open.

Avoid Lesbian death bed. Sex is not something of less importance. Sex gives you passion and love. Sex gives you urge and the drive to the other person. Another extension on how to show you love the other person. Sex is simply making love to the other person.



Note: Photo courtesy of deviantart

By: Queen B.


Nasaan na ba ang mga dating operators at chatters ng Lezpinay?

Chat rooms or referred to as rooms, channels are the common term used by mirc chatters, being a chatter for almost 5 yrs, attended some of the eb’s, events of lezpinay channel , met most of the organizers, operators and chatters , I just can’t help but ask;  asan na nga ba sila?

Ang ibang chatters minsan nakikita ko pa din sa room, paisa-isa nalang ang swerte mo kung old chatter ka at may nakita ka pang kakilala mo! . I miss the old days na halos magkakakilala pa halos lahat ng chatters, very approachable at accommodating ang bawat operators at minsan almost every week may eb, kaya naman halos 24/7 naka park ang nick ko sa “room”  para laging updated sa events and happenings. Madalas din magka-yayaan ang ibang clan ng chatters para sa mini gathering. Those were the days, were everyone is friendly, wala pang masyadong responsibility at buhay chat lang ang nasa isip!



One of the reason why I enjoy my chat-life is because of the fact that channel lezpinay is a friendly community. Mahirap ang buhay ng isang Closet Queen sabi nga nila, and honestly when i started to chat doon ko na realize na mas madali palang mag open kapag alam mong may ibang tao din na kagaya mo at handa kang suportahan at damayan! That is my kind of “room service” im looking for, kaya naman hanggang ngayon im still supporting lezpinay kahit hindi na ako active sa chat.

Nasaan na nga ba sila? Hindi ko din alam, ang alam ko lang masyadong maliit ang mundo, magkikita-kita ulit tayo! =)


Happy Easter!

Philippine Online Chronicles
Mec Arevalo - Thursday, 25 March 2010

Last November, the World Health Organization issued a statement that Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome (AIDS) has become the leading cause of death for women ages 15-44 around the world. This means that, due largely to having unsafe sex, women of childbearing age are putting themselves at risk of contracting the Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV). This also implies that women today may still not yet be in full control of their fertility and reproductive health.

The present scenario

Many are still quick to dismiss HIV as a gay or sex worker disease. And then came the news of HIV cases rising in the call center industry. Call center agents were offended but the news also prompted AKMA-PTM, a call center party list, to come up with an HIV hotline for the 500,000-plus people working for Business Process Outsourcing (BPO) companies in the country. The hotline may prove beneficial but the way this new development was reported irked some people with HIV who are working for better awareness and support for all since people are now thinking that if they are not gay and don’t work for call centers,  they will be immune.

Campaigns to pass the Reproductive Health Bill and have it implemented as well as other awareness drives spearheaded by the DOH and various NGOs are all good and does benefit a lot of people. There is room for improvement, however, in the approach and the ad campaigns. More resources also have to be allocated to provide the necessary facilities for testing and cooperation from different communities will be critical in helping curb the HIV situation in the country.

The need for a different approach

Dr. Patricia Gay, in her speech at the National Conference on Women and HIV/AIDS, encourages people working on HIV/AIDS awareness to look at HIV/AIDS as a sexual and relational issue and not just as a health issue.

Lisa Enriquez, one of the few women with HIV who have come out, was neither a sex worker nor a drug addict. In fact, she got HIV from her Italian husband. This raises the question as to who shall give a face to the many other women who are getting the virus, not because they were particularly promiscuous, but because they were in a relationship they thought was monogamous.

There may be some truth to the news being reported that Filipinos keep having unprotected sex but it does not say how much of these happen casually or how some HIV-carriers may be unwittingly passing the virus on to multiple partners.

Consider the following scenarios and facts:

1. Fubu (F*ck buddy) arrangements, however casual, are still generally based on a level of trust. Some arrangements are even exclusive, if only for a time;
2. A wife is not likely to insist on condom use in a marriage if they’re open to getting pregnant;
3. A girlfriend may not insist on condom use if she is on the pill because she is less likely to be concerned about getting STDs from a man she loves and will only protect herself from an unwanted pregnancy;
4. Because of the perception that it is a gay or druggie disease, men are least likely to consider testing but is most likely to unknowingly spread the virus;
5. People automatically assume their partners are clean especially if they both come from good families, are educated, have jobs, etc;
6. One out of three people with HIV in the country is, or was, an OFW; and
7. Gay guys, with no worries of getting pregnant, are less likely to also insist on condom use.

A woman’s non-use of condoms, whether she is a wife, girlfriend or friend offering benefits, has no bearing on her educational attainment and level of confidence as a person. Her husband may not be the stereotypical philanderer as well. All he needs is just one moment of carelessness, or one adventurous fling with an infected person of the same sex, to bring home to his wife the disease.

OFWs engaging in sexual relationships abroad may also have more to do with loneliness from being away from loved ones for long periods of time rather than immorality.

Thus, awareness campaigns have to start appealing to these emotional and relational aspects of the Filipino’s sexual practices for them to be more effective.

The female perspective

The Department of Health (DOH) pegs the HIV/AIDS situation in the Philippines as an epidemic, with January 2010 registering the highest number of HIV cases. An alarming 50 out of the 143 cases reported last January were HIV transmissions from sharing needles from drug use while 89 of the cases were from sexual contact.  18 out of the cases were female.

Aside from the critical issue of having a body that will not be able to fight opportunistic infections, there are other issues that are particular to women with HIV that need to be addressed, and maybe differently. These include, but are not limited to, the following:

• The biological and physiological makeup of a woman’s reproductive system makes her more likely to get HIV. This fact essentially compromises her when a partner she trusts has unprotected sexual intercourse outside of the relationship;

• The use, availability and affordability of Antiretrovirals (ART) to prevent mother-to-child transmission of HIV and the concurrent fears that though ART may minimize transmission of HIV, exposure to it may also result in congenital anomalies and lifelong malignancies in the babies. This also brings to fore the lack of abortive option for HIV-positive women in the country. There have only been 49 reported cases of mother-to-child transmissions since 1984, however, which may not be enough to warrant such a drastic measure. Add to this the fact that babies born to mothers with HIV only have 1 out of 4 chance of also being HIV-positive, less if the babies are delivered via C-section;

• The use, availability and affordability of ART to prevent transmission of HIV in breast milk. There exists a 30% chance at least of transmitting HIV through breast milk. However, breast milk still offers a myriad of benefits to an infant. For women who are resource-poor and in areas with unpredictable water supply or unfit sanitation, breastfeeding may also be the safest recourse for mothers in ensuring their baby survives;

• The increased heart attack risks due to HIV, with women showing a tripled risk that is probably attributable to a different metabolism;

• The compromised sexual lives as HIV may make women more prone to other infections like UTI and other STDs despite condom use;

• The change of plans affecting marriage and having children in the future;

• The social stigma of being labelled as promiscuous and other sterotypes such as playing the role of primary caregiver while requiring care themselves;

• The aggravated violence on women with HIV, be it continued sexual abuse or physical abuse resulting in the disease being found out. Probable loss of income or inability to contribute to chores may also fuel maltreatment; and

• The children and dependents of HIV-positive women who may have to be raised by others or raised with limited means, as family resources may be affected by long-term health care.

Filipino women who suspect that they may have HIV or have found out for sure through testing may contact Babae Plus, a group primarily aimed at giving a voice to Filipinas with HIV, at Bahay Kanlungan Center (632- 528-4531) or Abot Kamay Center (404-2911) or via e-mail:  babaeplus@gmail.com  This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it ' ); //

A lot is already being done to promote HIV awareness but information drives have to compete with the changing mores of the present time. We have to adjust accordingly. Not doing so may mean that it will be our sons and daughters someday who are stricken with the disease.  Already, the young professionals most at risk of getting HIV are also the ones driving our economy, the implication of which spells disaster for the Filipino nation.

 

By:  -G

In a relationship, there’s a time when you outgrew each other. and that’s the time when somebody lies.

Knowing whether you are being lied to or not, does not require mind reading or psychic power. Understanding the difference between the truth and a lie can all be determined by a person’s behaviour, and if you pay attention to these behaviours, you will be able to have a better idea of whether you are being lied to or not. The most important thing you should always remember to do however is to trust your instincts. If you feel you are not getting the entire truth from your partner for some reason, then listen to your instincts. Most people are in good touch with their instincts, but rather not listen to that inner voice because they refuse to believe that their partner would deceive them in any way. Staying in touch with your instincts will help guide you in the right direction.

Though instincts are a great help, they can be tricky. Majority of the times, your instincts will not lie to you, but there are times when your instincts can be influenced by your fears and insecurities. For example, you may already have fears of being cheated on, therefore you may feel that your partner is lying to you and cheating on you, when in fact he or she may be telling you the truth and completely faithful to you. This is why it is essential to understand the behavior of a liar, so that you define the difference between really catching on to a liar, or just being paranoid that your partner is lying to.

One important thing to remember is that the body never lies. If there are changes in the way your partner moves (or not moves) his/her arms, hands, head and the way his/her eyes shift, then you are most likely being lied to. The reason the body language changes when a person is lying is because the person now has to think of a way to seem convincing that he/she is telling the truth. Since he/she knows that whatever they are telling you is a lie, the behavior automatically changes, because they are now trying to act truthful, instead of actually being truthful. One big sign to look out for is in the eyes. If your partner avoids eye contact with you, then he/she is lying to you. There is a fear that you will see through him or her if there is eye contact, so eye contact will be avoided.

Whether you realize it or not, your body also communicates when you talk. When you are enthusiastic about telling your partner something and are telling the truth, you will move your hands around and will look into his/her eyes to make a connection. If your partner is lying however, he or she will tense up, will most likely tone down on the hand movement and eye connection and will seem different than other times. If your partner is the type to still move his/her hands around even when he/she is lying, then pay attention to the timing of the movements. Timing is everything and can define the difference between the truth and a lie. When a person is telling the truth for example, his/her hands (and whatever body movement he/she does) will move at the same time when telling you something. When he/she is lying however, the body language will be off and will usually come shortly after he/she has told you the lie. This is because they have to think about acting natural, and this thinking causes them to be off key, not to mention they are not really telling you the truth.

Another sign of a lying partner is if he/she touch his/her nose or face a lot while talking to you. They will feel nervous about telling you lies and will want to occupy their hands somehow as a way to cover up their lie, such as touching the nose, rubbing their eyes and so on. Your partner may even clear his or her throat more than usual than talking to you, look away a lot and/or say “umm” when lying to you. They are using these as time killers so they can think of how to tell you the lie in the most convincing way possible. These are just some of the signs of a lying partner and are the most common signs. Remember, it is always important to trust your instincts first. If you feel that your partner is lying to you, start paying closer attention to his/her behaviour and if there are any changes, then you will be able to catch on to the lies better and can further investigate from that point.

Chatting, Chanting, Cheating!
By: Queen B.

I was introduced  in the cyber world when I was a college freshman, ang mahal pa ng internet at kokonti palang ng providers. I easily got hooked up and  spend wee hours surfing the net at  hindi ko pa alam ang term na “surfing” malay ko ba na “surfing” pala ang tawag  e wala naman dagat! Ang bobo ko din! At syempre hindi mawawala ang porn sites which I do every night in auto-pilot, naduling ako! Kaloka. Oysters  ang tawag ko dun, in different sizes, colors, freshness, yung iba kahit takpan mo ng dalawang kamay may lalangawin pa din! And my piece of advice for some porn stars (star nga ba?) that haven’t sink in to the idea that BUSH was out of his post so puhhleeaseeee do the O-BALD-MA way! Ang hirap kasing hagilapin ng perlas ang daming seaweeds!

Years after, Na-discover ko ang sanctuario ng ka-tomboyan, nan-laki ang mga mata ko sa dami ng mga chatters at na-realize ko na ganun na pala kalaki ang lesbian community sa pinas. Almost everyday after doing my school work I log-in automatically and nag e-enjoy ako magbasa ng mga usapan ng mga chatters, nakaka-aliw, may mga chatters na nag hahanap ng potential girlfriend, meron  ang hanap makakausap who can share their experience or field of interest, yung iba naman na kagaya ko na nagpapalipas lang ng oras nagmamasid, maligaya at kuntento ng pinagtatawanan ang usapan. The worst scenarios are the straight men joining the chat room, which are in denial stage that cannot accept that they exist and can satisfy themselves sexually as a matter of fuck.

Shocked and excited, I started to welcome and embrace the world I am into. Witnessed chatters who eventually found the “One” and the happily ever after effects. The perfect match as they think of for that very moment, and starts to lay-low in the chat-world. Seen people hidden under different pseudonyms, uncertain but striving to locate where to get a good catch.

May mga araw naman na nagkakahulihan, may girlfriend na pala nakikipag-landian pa sa chatroom o diba mga babaeng babaero pala ang mga punyeta! At hindi rin masyadong matalino ha! Pwede naman ibahin ang nick e well kung  sabagay some chatters sticked to their nicks nagpapasikat, sila yung kakapasok palang ng chat room e halos kalahati ng chatters kilala na sila, pero kung magloloko ka din lang kailangan mo pa bang ipaalam sa iba? Naitanong ko lang naman.At ang nakakaloka e yung ibang chatters  na naghahanap ng mga makaka-chat na naka base or working abroad na gagawin nilang girlfriend pero ang agenda pala e ang maka-victim na kapag naging girlfriend nila eventually and hoping they can be petition or sponsor, well if they are lucky enough and chanted the right oooohmmm uuuuuhhhmmmmm. May ibang chatter naman na load lang ang katapat! O diva hindi lang buhay bakla ang makulay!

Napaisip tuloy ako, ano nga ba ang hanap natin sa isang relasyon? Ano bang pamantayan and dapat sundin kung meron man? Sino ba ang nakakapag-sabi na tama ang napili natin? At kung tama man sa paningin natin, tama din kaya sa paningin ng iba? Is it right to follow ones heart and go beyond the boundaries? Ang daming tanong na minsan kahit alam mo ang sagot nakakatakot sagutin dahil alam mo na at some point pwedeng maging tama o mali sa iba ang isasagot mo.

 

 Gay and Lesbian relationships are no difference with STRAIGHT relationships! They seek, found, fought, confined, regained. They have their  own weaknesses, the one who seek doesn’t easily find it, and when found they don’t actually expecting it, fighting for the love against all odds to prosper is still debateable on how or to what extent one is willing to give and sacrifice. Couples who learned the rules and guidelines to achieve the impossible of having a normal family find themselves confined on their own world not knowingly the partner that she used to sleep beside her is not the same person who shares her bed.

Relationship is not about the excitement, it’s an action of serious and delicate things, it is not about finding the perfect partner but it is about building a solid foundation. It is not about looking for intense feeling but learning to spice things in a very rational angle.

 

As for me, excuse me as I indulge with my favourite oyster. ROCKEFELLER!