How to Enjoy being Alone?
By: FLIRTINI

I've been living all alone for about two weeks now and it isn't a fun experience. Being in the same routine and doing the same things with nobody but yourself, I feel isolated and even alienated at times. I sometimes  would prefer being in bed and just daydream rather than getting up and facing the real world because there is this usual scenario of eating breakfast, lunch or dinner alone and the constant trying to look at the cellphone drama, because perhaps there might be somebody who really cares or remembers your existence.  After a moment of brainstorming in my mind and doing such extensive research of the subject of being alone, I came up a list of the things to do in order to combat these unbearable loneliness of living all by yourself. Here are the following: 


1. Clean your room - I guess it is time to make your room a place conducive or at least habitable for human life. Through cleaning your room, it somehow gives you a sense of control to your life and as well as a sense of accomplishment. With all these things to clean from scrubbing the floor to wiping dusty cupboards, you will be very preoccupied to the point of not minding the thought of being alone. Lastly, cleaning your room is a one good step of living a happy life. 

2. Read a book - Reading a book brings you endless possibilities. It brings you to places that you are not familiar with and tells you many things that you haven't heard of. There are many books to choose from, whether you want to read some sci - fi books such as "Lord of the Rings" or "Harry Potter" to some great classics such as "Count of Monte Cristo" or "Pride and Prejudice". 

3. Exercise - Always wanted to have a body like those you see in the cover of the magazines? And having that kind of sexy body seems to be of a distant dream? I say, this is the right time to make such dream a realization. Go to the nearest gym or any recreational centers where you could exercise. A 2 hour exercise in a day would remove 2 hours of staring in front of the wall waiting for nothing and instead, it will burn those calories and give you a sense of fulfillment. And we never know, you might find a hot catch in the gym ;) 


4. Write - Sometimes it is funny and quite inspiring when Walter Wellesley Smith once quoted something about writing, he said, "There is nothing wrong to writing. All you do is sit down at a type writer and open a vein". Partially, I agree with what he said and partially, I do not. Writing shouldn't be seen as grotesque and difficult. However, I don't say that writing is 0% difficult, it is just that writing should be seen and taken as a passion, and as they all say, when passion is present, everything just move swiftly like air. Writing is somehow a dialogue with yourself, it is a way of communicating with your inner self. It helps you release all emotions within in you and that includes the sadness and loneliness that haunts you especially in the night. It is an output to make your life slate clean and it gives you such lighter feeling after. You can write about just anything whether about school, politics or just simply your everyday escapades.  


5. Cook - Most people are fond of eating and not cooking. As for myself, I was never interested in the cooking part but when it comes to the eating part, I am willing to take such noble responsibility of finishing everything that is laid on the table. Since, I've been living all alone and nobody is there to cook for me, and because I am human, I need to survive by learning how to cook. I don't mean that you have to enroll in a culinary school (but I am not telling you that you shouldn't). All you have to do is follow whatever is instructed in the recipe page of a cook book or a recipe/cooking website. Just be passionate about religiously following such instructions and as well as inject some experimentation like substituting one ingredient with a local ingredient or by adding some ingredients. Whatever might be the result of such crazy experimentation, tasting it would be far from crazy (based on experience). It was a fun thing to learn about, which is cooking! 


6. Participating in Online Social Networks - It is the new age of social networking from tweeting about your latest happenings in Tweeter to connecting and sharing your life with close friends and relatives in Facebook. It gives you somehow a virtual way of feeling not alone because through these networking sites, you are able to connect with friends and family through chatting, sharing photos, updating status, playing games and many things to mention. It is a fun way spending your time tweeting of being alone rather than cursing the heavens of having such fate at least in social networking sites, somebody would care and comment about it.  


7. Engage in forums and chatrooms - It is the new hype of communicating to other human beings. Long lost the days of waiting for some time to send and receive snail mails (No wonder, it is called SNAIL mail). Today, everything is an instant and everyone is always on the go that is why, many instant ways have been popping out like instant chat messengers, emails, and other never thought of inventions. Chatting in chatrooms would widen your virtual friend horizon, and it helps you gain many friends from different places in the world. You could talk to them with various topics in mind but be sure you choose descent chatrooms. And also, engaging oneself in forums, where you could post different topics to talk about and wait for people to comment about it and voila, an endless thread of thoughts and ideas. 


8. Travel - Let not financial limitations hinder you from travelling. It is a fun way of learning at the same time meeting new people from different walks of life. It all needs an extensive planning of every cent that you have in your pocket. If your money would just allow you to do travel locally then never let that opportunity pass. If you have the means of traveling in different countries, then it would be much better. Don't let anything such as financial, age, or even being alone, be an obstacle to such wonderful experience that travelling has to offer.  


9. Be of a Help - It is good to be helpful once in awhile. If you see an old woman who is having difficulty bringing her things, don't think twice and help the poor lady at once. There are so many things to do to become helpful to people. Perhaps, joining in an organization with a good cause and good intention for society such as ONE, an organization committed to fight poverty and preventable diseases or perhaps you could join a local organization that helps clean the environment. It is a way of spending your time creatively and significantly.  


10. Be Happy and Optimistic about life - I don't need any explaining to do here. All the things I mentioned would be useless without this.

Survival Of The Fittest
By: FLIRTINI

Imagine yourself, standing in the middle of a room, filled with people. A smell of cigarette predominantly competed with the odor of the sweat and the scent  of pheromones emitted by the human body. There was an abundance of liquor all around and it was the catalyst of the party. People were dancing and with the influence of alcohol, they were turning to savages.

The mating season was about to start, for each person in the room, started to look for its mate to make out with. The pressure and intensity were gradually building as time passed by and you were there unmoved and standing, stiffly. You were kind of uncomfortable, because you weren’t use to being with plenty of people. Like the great predators of the earth, some of the people with strong personality and a slight bloated ego, were the ones who always make the first move.

They simply eyed around the corner like a surveillance camera, and patiently looked for their prey. The qualities that the prey should have were simple: first, big breast for sucking and fondling pervertedly, second, voluptuos ass to spank with, and third, sluttiness to avoid any complicated ties that a relationship brings. When they already did find their  target, they would study her  first and think about the perfect pick up line, in order to sweep away the prey smoothly. After a short brainstorming in their little minds, they will approach the prey with an air of pride for they will about to strangle this prey to their beds and their appetites will be fulfilled.

This scenario being portrayed would be the perfect example of the first chain of the food pyramid. Let’s go back to you, you were still standing confused about the nature of what you are, a prey or a predator. Kind of like a peer pressure thing, since you are forced to do something that you are not comfortable with but there was no other choice but to comply. You began to dissolve within yourself and you slowly fade away from the crowd. You felt a little lost about yourself, you barely know who you were. All you know was that you love women, and you respect them. And everything just went clear, everything about the survival of the fittest theory was irrelevant and simpl bullshit. Women shouldn’t be treated as possesions by men and women also. Things became clear and decided to go home contented and thankful for such a realization in mind.

"BABAE"
By: Mysterio Escritor


Hihintayin kita sa dating tagpuan
doon sa ating paraisong nilimot
na ng mga panahong nagdaraan...

at pag dumating ka na,
lilisan ako,
kasama ang aking hinagpis,
luha at ang mga nakaraan pinipilit kalimutan

tangan ang sugatang alaalang
ibinilot sa nagluluksang basahan,

bitbit ang basag na kristal
na iyong winasak
upang sa aking paghakbang
ay masaksihan ko
ang paglaglag ng iyong anino
sa lamig ng simoy ng hangin na tila ba sumasang-ayon
sa puso kong sugatan.

She’s my annoyance

My “ignorance is a bliss”

The half of what I feel

The full stops in my sentence

One who breaks the humdrum of my life

One who smacks reality in my fantasy

Fades my color black

Stains my whites

She’s my added fear

My multiplied sorrow

My negative tears

My divided indecision

My bed of loneliness

My underground happiness

I want to tell her

It’s not right as it seems

I’ll just be quiet and wallow

Make believe this is shallow


By: MIMAY

By: - G




Lesbian death bed is a term coined by Pepper Schwartz. This is a ‘phenomenon’ when a lesbian couple have less sex than they use to after being together for so long. This term is a misnomer for the fact that this scenario isn’t just experienced by lesbian couples but also by heterosexual couples and gay men as well.

Why do people experience death bed?

• Sex is not important. Some people view sex as a treat, or a desert in a relationship. Some couple think of  sex as something not as important as other factors like communication, trust, friendship.
• Stress. With problems back and forth, couples tend to forget about sex. Sex becomes a task that needs to be performed to get filled.
• Health problems. because of physical problems, sex drives tends to lower than they used to.
• Lost passion. this happens because of the fact of being together for so long, they loss their affection and passion for the other person.
• other factors

When Lesbian death bed happens, what do you do?
There are a lot of ways to get the passion back, to keep the light burning. BE adventurous and experiment. Sex is not taboo anymore. People have sex almost everyday, married or not and in different places. Sex is something that is shared by two people who has feelings for each other, who is intimate with one another – the term should be Making Love. Or it can be just a casual thing between friends, hook ups, FUBU (Fuck Buddies), experiments. So how do you keep the fire burning after being together for so long? Here’s a list of useful fact to practice:

1. Minimize excuses – try to lessen excuses just to avoid having sex.
2. Watch porn – as funny as other may see this, watching pornography actually helps. When you watch porn, you tend to visualize yourself in that scenario. You will get aroused. Watching porn isn’t something that you should be shy about.
3. Use sex toys. There is a wide selection for sexual enhancers to help you with maximizing pleasure with your partner. Vibrators, Penile toys, Glass sex toys, Nipple toys, Anal toys, or General penetrative toys. With a wide selection, you can choose whatever that is to your liking. To give you a a little something to read, click on SEX TOYS.
4. Fantasize. Scenarios that make you kinky, a certain set up which can make you horny or something that just gives you a spark. It maybe a doctor-nurse thing, having sex on top of a table, to have sex on your parents bed/room, sex on a plane, master-servant. Whatever your sexual fantasies are, share it with your partner, and just play. Enjoy the moment and savor the pleasure.
5. Have a sex date. This is different from making a schedule, but think of it more like a date. this is the time when you think of nothing else but sex. A night that you can spend with the other partner and both enjoy. A night that you will look forward to.
6. Read. there is a lot of books that focuses on erotic topics. Like watching porn, don’t be shy about reading erotica. This way, you will learn different thing and in return will make you want to try it.
7. keep the communication open.

Avoid Lesbian death bed. Sex is not something of less importance. Sex gives you passion and love. Sex gives you urge and the drive to the other person. Another extension on how to show you love the other person. Sex is simply making love to the other person.



Note: Photo courtesy of deviantart

Philippine Online Chronicles
Mec Arevalo - Thursday, 25 March 2010

Last November, the World Health Organization issued a statement that Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome (AIDS) has become the leading cause of death for women ages 15-44 around the world. This means that, due largely to having unsafe sex, women of childbearing age are putting themselves at risk of contracting the Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV). This also implies that women today may still not yet be in full control of their fertility and reproductive health.

The present scenario

Many are still quick to dismiss HIV as a gay or sex worker disease. And then came the news of HIV cases rising in the call center industry. Call center agents were offended but the news also prompted AKMA-PTM, a call center party list, to come up with an HIV hotline for the 500,000-plus people working for Business Process Outsourcing (BPO) companies in the country. The hotline may prove beneficial but the way this new development was reported irked some people with HIV who are working for better awareness and support for all since people are now thinking that if they are not gay and don’t work for call centers,  they will be immune.

Campaigns to pass the Reproductive Health Bill and have it implemented as well as other awareness drives spearheaded by the DOH and various NGOs are all good and does benefit a lot of people. There is room for improvement, however, in the approach and the ad campaigns. More resources also have to be allocated to provide the necessary facilities for testing and cooperation from different communities will be critical in helping curb the HIV situation in the country.

The need for a different approach

Dr. Patricia Gay, in her speech at the National Conference on Women and HIV/AIDS, encourages people working on HIV/AIDS awareness to look at HIV/AIDS as a sexual and relational issue and not just as a health issue.

Lisa Enriquez, one of the few women with HIV who have come out, was neither a sex worker nor a drug addict. In fact, she got HIV from her Italian husband. This raises the question as to who shall give a face to the many other women who are getting the virus, not because they were particularly promiscuous, but because they were in a relationship they thought was monogamous.

There may be some truth to the news being reported that Filipinos keep having unprotected sex but it does not say how much of these happen casually or how some HIV-carriers may be unwittingly passing the virus on to multiple partners.

Consider the following scenarios and facts:

1. Fubu (F*ck buddy) arrangements, however casual, are still generally based on a level of trust. Some arrangements are even exclusive, if only for a time;
2. A wife is not likely to insist on condom use in a marriage if they’re open to getting pregnant;
3. A girlfriend may not insist on condom use if she is on the pill because she is less likely to be concerned about getting STDs from a man she loves and will only protect herself from an unwanted pregnancy;
4. Because of the perception that it is a gay or druggie disease, men are least likely to consider testing but is most likely to unknowingly spread the virus;
5. People automatically assume their partners are clean especially if they both come from good families, are educated, have jobs, etc;
6. One out of three people with HIV in the country is, or was, an OFW; and
7. Gay guys, with no worries of getting pregnant, are less likely to also insist on condom use.

A woman’s non-use of condoms, whether she is a wife, girlfriend or friend offering benefits, has no bearing on her educational attainment and level of confidence as a person. Her husband may not be the stereotypical philanderer as well. All he needs is just one moment of carelessness, or one adventurous fling with an infected person of the same sex, to bring home to his wife the disease.

OFWs engaging in sexual relationships abroad may also have more to do with loneliness from being away from loved ones for long periods of time rather than immorality.

Thus, awareness campaigns have to start appealing to these emotional and relational aspects of the Filipino’s sexual practices for them to be more effective.

The female perspective

The Department of Health (DOH) pegs the HIV/AIDS situation in the Philippines as an epidemic, with January 2010 registering the highest number of HIV cases. An alarming 50 out of the 143 cases reported last January were HIV transmissions from sharing needles from drug use while 89 of the cases were from sexual contact.  18 out of the cases were female.

Aside from the critical issue of having a body that will not be able to fight opportunistic infections, there are other issues that are particular to women with HIV that need to be addressed, and maybe differently. These include, but are not limited to, the following:

• The biological and physiological makeup of a woman’s reproductive system makes her more likely to get HIV. This fact essentially compromises her when a partner she trusts has unprotected sexual intercourse outside of the relationship;

• The use, availability and affordability of Antiretrovirals (ART) to prevent mother-to-child transmission of HIV and the concurrent fears that though ART may minimize transmission of HIV, exposure to it may also result in congenital anomalies and lifelong malignancies in the babies. This also brings to fore the lack of abortive option for HIV-positive women in the country. There have only been 49 reported cases of mother-to-child transmissions since 1984, however, which may not be enough to warrant such a drastic measure. Add to this the fact that babies born to mothers with HIV only have 1 out of 4 chance of also being HIV-positive, less if the babies are delivered via C-section;

• The use, availability and affordability of ART to prevent transmission of HIV in breast milk. There exists a 30% chance at least of transmitting HIV through breast milk. However, breast milk still offers a myriad of benefits to an infant. For women who are resource-poor and in areas with unpredictable water supply or unfit sanitation, breastfeeding may also be the safest recourse for mothers in ensuring their baby survives;

• The increased heart attack risks due to HIV, with women showing a tripled risk that is probably attributable to a different metabolism;

• The compromised sexual lives as HIV may make women more prone to other infections like UTI and other STDs despite condom use;

• The change of plans affecting marriage and having children in the future;

• The social stigma of being labelled as promiscuous and other sterotypes such as playing the role of primary caregiver while requiring care themselves;

• The aggravated violence on women with HIV, be it continued sexual abuse or physical abuse resulting in the disease being found out. Probable loss of income or inability to contribute to chores may also fuel maltreatment; and

• The children and dependents of HIV-positive women who may have to be raised by others or raised with limited means, as family resources may be affected by long-term health care.

Filipino women who suspect that they may have HIV or have found out for sure through testing may contact Babae Plus, a group primarily aimed at giving a voice to Filipinas with HIV, at Bahay Kanlungan Center (632- 528-4531) or Abot Kamay Center (404-2911) or via e-mail:  babaeplus@gmail.com  This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it ' ); //

A lot is already being done to promote HIV awareness but information drives have to compete with the changing mores of the present time. We have to adjust accordingly. Not doing so may mean that it will be our sons and daughters someday who are stricken with the disease.  Already, the young professionals most at risk of getting HIV are also the ones driving our economy, the implication of which spells disaster for the Filipino nation.

 

By:  -G

In a relationship, there’s a time when you outgrew each other. and that’s the time when somebody lies.

Knowing whether you are being lied to or not, does not require mind reading or psychic power. Understanding the difference between the truth and a lie can all be determined by a person’s behaviour, and if you pay attention to these behaviours, you will be able to have a better idea of whether you are being lied to or not. The most important thing you should always remember to do however is to trust your instincts. If you feel you are not getting the entire truth from your partner for some reason, then listen to your instincts. Most people are in good touch with their instincts, but rather not listen to that inner voice because they refuse to believe that their partner would deceive them in any way. Staying in touch with your instincts will help guide you in the right direction.

Though instincts are a great help, they can be tricky. Majority of the times, your instincts will not lie to you, but there are times when your instincts can be influenced by your fears and insecurities. For example, you may already have fears of being cheated on, therefore you may feel that your partner is lying to you and cheating on you, when in fact he or she may be telling you the truth and completely faithful to you. This is why it is essential to understand the behavior of a liar, so that you define the difference between really catching on to a liar, or just being paranoid that your partner is lying to.

One important thing to remember is that the body never lies. If there are changes in the way your partner moves (or not moves) his/her arms, hands, head and the way his/her eyes shift, then you are most likely being lied to. The reason the body language changes when a person is lying is because the person now has to think of a way to seem convincing that he/she is telling the truth. Since he/she knows that whatever they are telling you is a lie, the behavior automatically changes, because they are now trying to act truthful, instead of actually being truthful. One big sign to look out for is in the eyes. If your partner avoids eye contact with you, then he/she is lying to you. There is a fear that you will see through him or her if there is eye contact, so eye contact will be avoided.

Whether you realize it or not, your body also communicates when you talk. When you are enthusiastic about telling your partner something and are telling the truth, you will move your hands around and will look into his/her eyes to make a connection. If your partner is lying however, he or she will tense up, will most likely tone down on the hand movement and eye connection and will seem different than other times. If your partner is the type to still move his/her hands around even when he/she is lying, then pay attention to the timing of the movements. Timing is everything and can define the difference between the truth and a lie. When a person is telling the truth for example, his/her hands (and whatever body movement he/she does) will move at the same time when telling you something. When he/she is lying however, the body language will be off and will usually come shortly after he/she has told you the lie. This is because they have to think about acting natural, and this thinking causes them to be off key, not to mention they are not really telling you the truth.

Another sign of a lying partner is if he/she touch his/her nose or face a lot while talking to you. They will feel nervous about telling you lies and will want to occupy their hands somehow as a way to cover up their lie, such as touching the nose, rubbing their eyes and so on. Your partner may even clear his or her throat more than usual than talking to you, look away a lot and/or say “umm” when lying to you. They are using these as time killers so they can think of how to tell you the lie in the most convincing way possible. These are just some of the signs of a lying partner and are the most common signs. Remember, it is always important to trust your instincts first. If you feel that your partner is lying to you, start paying closer attention to his/her behaviour and if there are any changes, then you will be able to catch on to the lies better and can further investigate from that point.

Chatting, Chanting, Cheating!
By: Queen B.

I was introduced  in the cyber world when I was a college freshman, ang mahal pa ng internet at kokonti palang ng providers. I easily got hooked up and  spend wee hours surfing the net at  hindi ko pa alam ang term na “surfing” malay ko ba na “surfing” pala ang tawag  e wala naman dagat! Ang bobo ko din! At syempre hindi mawawala ang porn sites which I do every night in auto-pilot, naduling ako! Kaloka. Oysters  ang tawag ko dun, in different sizes, colors, freshness, yung iba kahit takpan mo ng dalawang kamay may lalangawin pa din! And my piece of advice for some porn stars (star nga ba?) that haven’t sink in to the idea that BUSH was out of his post so puhhleeaseeee do the O-BALD-MA way! Ang hirap kasing hagilapin ng perlas ang daming seaweeds!

Years after, Na-discover ko ang sanctuario ng ka-tomboyan, nan-laki ang mga mata ko sa dami ng mga chatters at na-realize ko na ganun na pala kalaki ang lesbian community sa pinas. Almost everyday after doing my school work I log-in automatically and nag e-enjoy ako magbasa ng mga usapan ng mga chatters, nakaka-aliw, may mga chatters na nag hahanap ng potential girlfriend, meron  ang hanap makakausap who can share their experience or field of interest, yung iba naman na kagaya ko na nagpapalipas lang ng oras nagmamasid, maligaya at kuntento ng pinagtatawanan ang usapan. The worst scenarios are the straight men joining the chat room, which are in denial stage that cannot accept that they exist and can satisfy themselves sexually as a matter of fuck.

Shocked and excited, I started to welcome and embrace the world I am into. Witnessed chatters who eventually found the “One” and the happily ever after effects. The perfect match as they think of for that very moment, and starts to lay-low in the chat-world. Seen people hidden under different pseudonyms, uncertain but striving to locate where to get a good catch.

May mga araw naman na nagkakahulihan, may girlfriend na pala nakikipag-landian pa sa chatroom o diba mga babaeng babaero pala ang mga punyeta! At hindi rin masyadong matalino ha! Pwede naman ibahin ang nick e well kung  sabagay some chatters sticked to their nicks nagpapasikat, sila yung kakapasok palang ng chat room e halos kalahati ng chatters kilala na sila, pero kung magloloko ka din lang kailangan mo pa bang ipaalam sa iba? Naitanong ko lang naman.At ang nakakaloka e yung ibang chatters  na naghahanap ng mga makaka-chat na naka base or working abroad na gagawin nilang girlfriend pero ang agenda pala e ang maka-victim na kapag naging girlfriend nila eventually and hoping they can be petition or sponsor, well if they are lucky enough and chanted the right oooohmmm uuuuuhhhmmmmm. May ibang chatter naman na load lang ang katapat! O diva hindi lang buhay bakla ang makulay!

Napaisip tuloy ako, ano nga ba ang hanap natin sa isang relasyon? Ano bang pamantayan and dapat sundin kung meron man? Sino ba ang nakakapag-sabi na tama ang napili natin? At kung tama man sa paningin natin, tama din kaya sa paningin ng iba? Is it right to follow ones heart and go beyond the boundaries? Ang daming tanong na minsan kahit alam mo ang sagot nakakatakot sagutin dahil alam mo na at some point pwedeng maging tama o mali sa iba ang isasagot mo.

 

 Gay and Lesbian relationships are no difference with STRAIGHT relationships! They seek, found, fought, confined, regained. They have their  own weaknesses, the one who seek doesn’t easily find it, and when found they don’t actually expecting it, fighting for the love against all odds to prosper is still debateable on how or to what extent one is willing to give and sacrifice. Couples who learned the rules and guidelines to achieve the impossible of having a normal family find themselves confined on their own world not knowingly the partner that she used to sleep beside her is not the same person who shares her bed.

Relationship is not about the excitement, it’s an action of serious and delicate things, it is not about finding the perfect partner but it is about building a solid foundation. It is not about looking for intense feeling but learning to spice things in a very rational angle.

 

As for me, excuse me as I indulge with my favourite oyster. ROCKEFELLER!